She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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