Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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