everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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