I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
