So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
