Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
