its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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