my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
