i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
