So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
