Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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