Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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