i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
