my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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