I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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