Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
