My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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