You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
