Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
