Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
