As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
