Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
