I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
God, you're like boner-b-gone
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
