dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
