dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
