Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
