The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize