Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
