he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't make out with my wife yet
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
