Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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