I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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