Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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