I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
