I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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