Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
