All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
