i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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