Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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