At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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