we have officially lost it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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