You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
