she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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