I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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