Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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