3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
