my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
