I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
