All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
