i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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