just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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