I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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