Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
