i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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