I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
