I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
