K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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