Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
