my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
