Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Mom said you looked used
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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