My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The beer is more important than you right now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
