and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
