I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
