omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
