shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
