Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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