oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
