Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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