I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
