Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
